Sunday, May 15, 2011

Oh, beauty (Bitchy Vegetarian Girlfriend)

I’ve gotten into a whole slew of conversations lately that have swung around pesky topics like self-esteem, standards of attractiveness, self-image, and all the weirdy swirling nebulous love/hate feelings that we all have towards ourselves, how we look, how  we feel, why we are the way that we are. It's been high on my mind lately, and you know what happens when I get to thinkin'...

It’s very easy to pick apart all the ways in which our various social groups/media perpetuate the "beauty myth," this nebulous thing that pressures us to conform to someone else’s ideal. Looking inward, though, at the ways in which we ourselves reinforce it is kinda hard. Doing the introspective thing shows us all the flotsam and jetsam rumbling around that we don’t want to realize – like how we judge and emulate and appease. And by we, I mean the royal we, the editorial -- I mean I.

But you know, there are a few things that creep in here an there, things that make me get all hummina hummina inside – things that lie outside of the norm. When I see them popping up in mainstream places, I like to pretend that maybe someone else, someone in the higher tastemaking echelon, has similar predilections, or at least a sense that the norm doesn’t have to be so damned normal.
I admit, even though I know better, I too have internalized bits and pieces of the pesky standard. But I do have quite a few exceptions – admittedly, by their very nature, they are the exceptions that prove the rule, but still, they are my exceptions, dammit.  And thankfully they are popping up in fits and spurts in the mainstream media.  Hopefully the fitting and spurting will be more frequent as time goes by.  Wait, that sounded dirty…

Anyway, these are some of the things that make me tick.

Christina Hendricks/Joan Holloway (aka Saint Joan of Rac)
For the uninitiated and those who dwell under rocks, Mad Men's Joan Holloway is a curvy gal – and she wears her stature like armor. She’s luscious and totally unafraid of her curves, and she dresses in a classically tailored manner so that everything is accentuated.

"Joan is a person I sometimes wish I could be," says Hendricks. "She's a presentation—I don't think she ever lets anyone see who she really is. She's very confident and pulled together… I've always had a bit of a walk—this girl's got hips—but on the show it's exaggerated. The first day, I put on those [retro] undergarments, and I was walking around the office like, boom, boom, boom! They called 'Cut,' and I turned to [creator] Matt Weiner and said, 'That was Joan.' And he said, 'That was Joan.' It all just dropped into place."

What I find especially refreshing is that the character isn’t overly conscious of her size – her body is hers and it is how it is and there’s none of this self-aggrandizing “real women have curves” bullshittery (because some real women don’t, you know). We never see her sucking in her gut or hiding underneath a loose tunic, she just owns it.

The fact that she's trussed up in layers of gorgeous vintage underpinnings certainly doesn't hurt matters, either.

Straight boys kissing
Velvet Goldmine and Brokeback Mountain are the two most easily accessible examples I can think of right now, and I can watch either, or both, over and over. And over. Not because they’re particularly good movies, because they’re not, but because they feature straight actor boys makin’ on other straight actor boys. It’s more than just the physical kissyfacin’ though; in order to fool me - a most astute connoisseur of straight-boy kisses - all the usual straight-playing-bent trappings have to be shed. No affected mannerisms, no props, no gimmicks or costumes can convey the passion of a true hot boy-on-boy kiss.

Thanks to the magic of the rewind button, I can watch Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Ewan Macgregor make out for hours.  In the context of Velvet Goldmine, it’s not just a kiss – it’s the truth behind the pageantry. It’s the foundation that supports all their other artifice; it’s the realization that to succumb to an emotion that potentially compromising you have got to be just a little bit naive. And daring. And devoted. And brave.

Brokeback’s reunion kiss – yowza! – you know, when Jack gets out of the truck and Ennis pulls him into the stairwell and there is the pulling of shirts and the kissing of faces and there’s just so much want and lust and longing. The tension, the nervousness, the release... Especially since Ennis was so torn and taciturn, so uncomfortable, so angry with his feelings, getting so overwhelmed with the presence of another, and letting go of all of that in a fit of passion - harnessing all that and putting it all into a kiss that goes against one's own (in real life, personal and in movie life, social) sexual preferences, how can that not stop your heart just a little?

Julianne Moore's budding young crow’s-feet
Mizz Moore’s face… dang! I truly hope she inspires women to take off the makeup - she looks great without it. Her features are open, honest, and devastatingly gorgeous. She’s also been pretty outspoken against cosmetic surgery, too, which in and of itself is beautiful.

If you look, and you don’t even have to look closely, you’ll see all manner of crow’s feet, fine lines, a bit of crepe in her skin’s texture – all things that are natural for a woman her age. All things that we will all have to deal with and grow into and wear as either badges of honor or hide away as badges of shame. Wearing one’s age is a really awesome thing. It’s a skill I still need to learn, but I hope I’m getting there.

Benicio del Toro
Squintish eyes, graying hair, furrowed brow. Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes. He smokes, he mumbles, his favorite cussin’ word is “piss-hell.”

There’s a whole cadre of the untraditionally handsome in Hollywood, the Steve Buscemis and the Timothy Olyphants and the whomever elses, but they just don’t do it like del Toro. It’s an intangible. And it works.

Alyson Hannigan / Willow Rosenberg (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Beautiful. Nerd. Shy. Nerd. Lady-lovin'. Nerd. Redhead. Nerd. Has a deep well off inner evil. Nerd…
Strong character writing is at the heart of this crush, which is of itself damnsexy (the writing, I mean, not the crush. but the crush is sexy, too...). The evolution from shy computer nerd with schoolgirl crushes to a sensitive, powerful, tactile, and sensual adult/witch/lesbian/bringer of evil/symbol of redemption was one of the reasons I kept watching Buffy even after it got a little heavy-handed and silly.
 If that's not enough, she (Willow) offhands lines like, “"Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away." I can totally relate. And she can do the straight girl/girl kiss thing pretty well, too.
Yes, it's a theme.

Seth Green
Party Monster notwithstanding (my previous point about straight actors playing the ghey does not apply here), Seth hits the hot spot because a) Scott Evil was just a cute lil dorksider, b) even though I lose IQ points every time i watch it, Robot Chicken cracks me up and laughin' = lovin' and 3) he’s kinda short. I like that. I’ve never been a fan of the neck crick that comes from height differential. I like looking into eyes, not up nostrils. Just sayin’.

Christian Kane's Eliot Spencer fight scenes (from Leverage)
Yes – violence can be sexy. It’s very sexy indeed when dished out by Eliot Spencer, the character Christian Kane plays on TNT's heisty Leverage.

Spencer fights hard, at close range, and takes no prisoners. Also, his fights are real, which is the kicker. “I can't believe Jon [Frakes] and Dean are still letting me do my own stunts, but that's just the way it goes,” says Kane. “You get better coverage, you get better film, you get a better end product when an actor does his own stunts, especially if he can do 'em well, and there's not a lot of people who come in and do fights better than I can. I'm not being cocky, it's just the way it is.”

Like the kissin’, a good fight requires honesty and sincerity – you can plan it and rehearse it, but ya just can’t fake it.

Joan Jett’s cover of “Androgynous”
Joan Jett. Covering my favorite Replacements song.  About girl-boys and boy-girls.  With John Doe just standing around, being his weirdly Oedipal sexy self (which is the makings of a whole ‘nother post entirely).  Somehow, I missed this song when it was released a couple years ago, I just happened up on it on youtube the other day.  Wow!

The song itself is not as much of an enigma as most ‘Mats songs – it’s easy to get that there is a good sense of understanding of, even appreciation for, of the fluidity of gender roles and identity. But it’s a ‘Mats song – it’s not preachy or weird, it’s not anything special at all; just another Dick and Jane story.


The common thread in all of these is a good dose of reality. Whether it’s a physical trait or a tendency or the willingness to dive so deeply into well-written character – it’s genuine. It’s owning everything you've got, flaws and strengths and all, and doing the best you can with it.  Oh, and redheads.  Reality and redheads.

And now I'm dyin to hear about all y'all's mainstreamy on-beyond-the-norm crushthings. Tell.

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