A corndog machine of my very own (Bitchy Vegetarian Girlfriend)

The other day I was checking out open-stock cookware at the local Fred Meyer and a lonely little corndog maker caught my eye.  It was on the clearance shelf, hanging out  with the mini doughnut bakers, the circus animal waffle makers, and the lime green hand mixers. Oh little corndog maker.
It got me thinking: I like corn dogs and all, but my Midwestern upbringing has taught me that there are no limits when it comes to Breaded Things on Sticks.  The world is my oyster!  With the nonstick convenience of a Breaded Things on Sticks mo-chine, I could rule the world!  Or at least make some darn tasty party snacks.

The obvious ones crossed my mind first -- veggie corn dogs, battered pickles, cheese sticks.  But once I really started thinking about it, I came up with a whole slew of ideas that I’m dyin’ to try. I’ll bet that macaroni and cheese could well benefit from a layer of corn batter.  Or roasted zucchini spears.  Alternating fresh mozzarella balls and cloves of roasted garlic on a skewer, dipped in a basil-infused batter and baked to perfection would be, well, in a word ... perfect.

Cannelloni rolls, mini burritos, and tamales are all rife for messing withing, battering, and baking.  Stromboli bites?  Hells yes!

For dessert, how about some chocolate-covered cherries, skewered and dipped in a funnel cake batter? A variation of the frozen monkey tail may be good, too – a frozen banana dipped in chocolate, only instead of rolled in ground peanuts and eaten cold, this time it’s dipped in a peanut buttery batter and cooked to toasty, Elvis-approved deliciousness.  I don’t know if marshmallows would work along those same lines, but it’s definitely worth a try.

Waffle sticks in a maple blueberry batter for breakfast?  Scrambled eggs and toast on a stick?  Possible!  Probably probable!  Imminently portable!

The possibilities are so wonderful and endless that I’m shocked and amazed that every house doesn’t have one.  Heck, I’m surprised that I don’t have one. Yet.  These things were marketed poorly – the clearance tag said “$19.95”, but clearly they’re worth a million in prizes!