I just got my hands on the August edition of Everyday with Rachael Ray, and oh god… the horrors inside!
My main complaint with RR in general is her notion that meals should always take less than 30 minutes to prepare, and that processed and pre-prepared foods are kitchen necessities. We're all busy; I get that. And yeah, sometimes taking shortcuts is the right thing thing to do. But as an all-the-time habit, I have to say “hell no!” A life without risotto is not a life worth living.
Flipping through Everyday is a test of patience. After seeing multiple instances of EVOO and “sammies” on the same page, I do not want to keep reading. But I do. Past the recipe for blueberry topping (blueberries + blueberry jam), past the kiwi boats (think twice-baked potatoes, only with kiwis and yogurt), past boxed yellow cake mix birthday pancakes (don’t even get me started)…
Further horrors await deeper in the abyss:
- The idea that one may not have dried oregano in one’s spice arsenal is horrifying to me. Rachael, how dare you think that?!
- Evidently, pomegranates are now officially out of favor.
- Veal. Seriously?
- The advice to grate a stick of butter... with a box grater.
- I rage against the ever-widening definition of “sliders." Sliders are burgers from White Castle, not sliced steak soft tacos.
- “Squash-amloe” is not a word.
There is, as always, an exception that proves the rule: the magazine's beer/mint tea footsoak advice is solid. Do it; your tootsies will thank you. Soak your feet in a mix of half-and-half room temperature beer and mint tea and you will be in true heaven.
I have to admit that this was one of the better issues I’ve read. There weren’t any recipes for breakfast cereal made from microwave popcorn, or advice on how to best re-heat your Taco Bell burrito on the grill. There were a lot of farmer’s market styles recipes, so the canned food factor was pretty low. We'll see what happens next month, though--I'm anticipating a plethora of back-to-school nightmares.
I’m guessing a lot of RR's fan base is with people who think themselves lazy, not-too-confident, or just plain bumblefingers in the kitchen. I get that, too; everyone starts somewhere. But RR’s recipes aren’t very good starting-off points. Cooking Rachael Ray-style is a lot like going to Denny’s--it's not a destination, simply a place you end up.
