But Have You Heard the Cover Version?

I’m not entirely sure why I like cover songs so much. I just do. By my iTunes’ accounting, I have 1.3 days worth of cover songs on my laptop. That’s 2.53 gigabytes’ worth of music files, or some 517 individual songs. I have five versions of The Doors’ “Light My Fire”; three versions each of Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart,” REM’s “Everybody Hurts,” and The Cars’ “Drive”; and also a handful of reinterpretations of the ever-popular Oasis hit “Wonderwall,” done by everybody from Green Day to the Mike Flowers Pops. Somehow, I’ve ended up with 14 different versions of The Buggles’ “Video Killed the Radio Star.” This is a “don’t ask, don’t tell” scenario if ever one existed.
They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but I have to wonder: Where does reinterpretation come in? In the early days of recording, it was pretty common for artists to be asked to do a faithful version of somebody else’s work for release in regional markets — but today, with copyright laws and reliable national distribution and all, it’s very rare that a modern cover song is a note-for-note replication of an original. An exception to this is Senor Coconut’s “El Baile Alemán” — an album consisting solely of Kraftwerk covers, copied nearly to the letter, but in a flowery, Latin-American style. It’s crazy, and it works.

One of the things I really enjoy about listening to another artist’s version of someone’s song is finding the unexpected bits and pieces that I’d not noticed before — those elements which, in the remake, are brought to the forefront. I’d never actually listened to the lyrics of “Be My Baby” by the Ronettes until I heard Jocelyn Schofield’s cello-and-piano torch song version. Sure, I’d heard the song a million-billion times, but had I ever really listened to the lyrics? Nope. And The Ramones’ version of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Have You Ever Seen The Rain” is far more tense and biting than the original, in my opinion.

Sometimes, an artist will personalize a song by changing a few words here and there, or messing around with the verses a bit. That’s how Frank Sinatra preferred to do things; his take on “Mrs. Robinson” turns Simon and Garfunkel’s classic from a contemplative pop song to a full-on Vegas showpiece, partially by putting his imprimatur on the lyrics: “And you’ll get yours, Mrs Robinson, fooling with that young stuff like you do, boo hoo hoo, woo woo woo.” Simon and Garfunkel’s original is sophisticated holds a bit of cultural criticism, while Sinatra’s version is full of chastisement and mockery. In the 1990s, The Lemonheads took yet another approach to “Mrs. Robinson”: They kept the lyrics intact while completely rebuilding the song underneath them, turning the softly upbeat folk number into an rousing, uptempo indie rock hit.

Then there are those bands that do more than reinterpret a single song, but manage to create an entire genre of reinterpretation unto themselves. Petty Booka is a Japanese duo that covers old-fashioned Hawaiian folk songs, but also covers modern hits like Madonna’s “Material Girl” and Steppenwolf’’s “Born to be Wild” in the same idiom, strumming the songs out on ukuleles and singing them in high, pillow-soft voices. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes turn every track into barroom punk, and darn good barroom punk at that; their versions of Billy Joel’s and Neil Diamond’s 1970s hits get your blood going in ways the originals never did. And Nouvelle Vague reinvents the punk and new wave songs of the 1980s (and a few classics from the 1960s and 1970s) in a sultry bossa-nova style, with touches of Serge Gainsbourg. The band’s co-founder Marc Collin even made an entire record of songs from 1980s movies — “A View to a Kill,” “Arthur’s Theme” and “Footloose” among them — in that swinging, 1960s pop style.

I’d probably not listen to The Charlie Daniels Band’s “The Devil Went Down To Georgia” of my own free will, but the Toy Dolls’ “The Devil Went Down to Scunthorpe” gets cranked up to 11 on a regular basis. Admittedly, there is a bit of ironic amusement in my enjoyment of “Scunthorpe” that cannot be denied, but I do also feel a a measure of pure delight, too. Come on, modern versions of Henry Mancini instrumentals are just plain fun! Reinvention, pastiche, novelty, call it what you will — cover songs are an entirely other way of listening to some already great music.

If you’d like to get an earful of some cool reinterpretations right now, check out The Covers Project, Rewind, Cover Me and The Coverclub. And WFMU’s splendid Beware of the Blog often digs up cover songs the likes of which you’ve never before imagined. WFMU introduced us to that cover of Devo’s “Mongoloid” by a German choir. ‘Nuff said.

Chivalry in the Time of Zombies (Monkey Goggles)

Holding the door open for a lady, standing up when being introduced to elders, bringing a small hostess gift when invited to the house of a friend… these are all things that we think of as chivalrous. And they are, to an extent, but they are examples of codes of behavior more firmly rooted in the Victorian tradition. The term “chivalry” basically came about to mean the ideal qualities of a medieval knight –- valor, courage, loyalty, honor, and a respect for the comfort and welfare of others. Chivalry, the knightly code, is a bit arbitrary and abstract of an idea, while the rules governing specific manners and mannerisms can be quite rigid. Both sets of guidelines have the same goal at heart, though.

Making others feel at comfortable and at ease is key. The laws of chivalry started as a way to keep knights, the warrior class (essentially the thugs of the middle ages), from wreaking havoc upon those less fortunate, and less armed than themselves. The sets of manners that sprung from the overlying chivalrous idea, though, tend to modify themselves to best fit their particular era. Personally, I hate when I’m milling in the lobby, waiting for an elevator, and when one finally arrives, having some guy who’s much closer to the door stand back and swoosh me on in first. Hate that with a passion! But it’s quicker and easier and far less of a fuss to just go. Same with the opening of doors; sure, I can do it myself but if someone wants to do it for me I’ll let them. It gets me on my way much more quickly, and in a double-door situation, I’m in a great place to open the next door for them.

This is all well and good — until the Zombie Apocalypse starts.

Just because there are legions of undead walking the earth and causing a ruckus is no reason for manners to go out the window. Denise Dinyon, gift-giving and etiquette expert for Lenox China, posits the following 10 tips for gracious living. I have adapted them to fit the extenuating circumstances of a Zombie Apocalypse. Her rules are in boldface; my reasons for upholding them are not.

1. Turn the cell phone off — completely — during a luncheon meeting, social function, or on public transportation. While it has not been scientifically proven, zombies seem to have a keen sense of hearing. They just seem to know when you’re calling your mom to give her a heartening word or tearful goodbye. If you must contact a loved one, set your keypad to silent and be brief. ILY-TTFN may not be the thoughtfully romantic message you want to convey, but believe me, it’ll do.

2. Hold the door — whether male or female, hold open a door you have just passed through for the person behind you. Also be prepared to bar the door shut and defend your side of it.

3. Bring a gift for the hostess — preferably one that doesn’t require her to drop everything she is doing. During a Zombie Apocalypse, acceptable gifts can include concussion grenades, double-headed axes, and bottles of 5-hour energy. That stuff is great for when you need to stay alert. If bringing a physical gift is out of the question, at least be prepared to chip in with some manual labor. Building barricades and fortifying one’s home is hard, and in the words of John Heywood, “many hands make light work.”

4. Keep to the right — on the sidewalk, in stairwells. Zombies do not travel in an orderly fashion, and to avoid being confused with a member of the walking undead, it’s best to take all necessary precautions. This is especially important if you have been recently in bedraggling circumstances and find yourself a bit on the unkempt side.

5. Say please and thank you — to waiters, flight attendants, store clerks, cab drivers — the little things go a long way. Just because times are a little bit wonky is no reason to be rude. Every human out there is a potential ally and it’s best to keep as many people as you can on your good side.

6. Circulate at a party or social gathering — whether hostess or guest, the people, not the food or drink, should be your main focus. Learning about your fellow survivors is important. Small personal details like who is a champion archer, who won gold medals in college track, and who can make a 2-way radio out of common household appliances, are vital now. Also notice whose flesh would most likely be the most marbled and tender. You know, in case of emergency.

7. Keep food or drink, briefcases or files in your left hand — keep your right hand free for handshakes. Or delivering decapitating blows. Whichever.

8. Stamp and address thank you notes in advance — when you know they will be needed, then fill them out and drop them in the mail after attending an event or receiving a gift or favor and you’ll be done. Okay, this one can probably go by the wayside. But if someone does go out of their way to save your life, eye contact and a heartfelt “thank you” are the least you can do.

9. Make eye contact and offer a warm smile — in every situation, this sets people at ease. And again, it will help you from being confused with a zombie.

10. Be perceptive — survey a situation and always use your best judgment. In the words of Kenny Rogers, “you got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.” A Zombie Apocalypse is not an every-man-for-himself situation; it will take teamwork to survive and rebuild. So start making those connections now. And be polite about it.