Monday, April 19, 2010

Fun spring reading: Real people, fictional situations (Monkey Goggles)

Super-specialized genre fiction, once the realm of nerds and, well, other nerds, has opened up a bit and now stars all kinds of real-life people. Here are a few such titles with a literary bent, which are waiting patiently for you at Elliott Bay Book Co. and at online at Amazon.

The Oscar Wilde Mysteries by Gyles Brandreth
Oscar Wilde and a Death of No Importance”
“Oscar Wilde and the Dead Man’s Smile”
“Oscar Wilde and a Game Called Murder”

“Victorian murder mysteries featuring Oscar Wilde — playwright, poet, wit, raconteur, detective,” declares the official website for Gyles Brandreth’s “Oscar Wilde Mysteries.” Brandreth is an honest-to-dog Wilde biographer, which means that his “Oscar Wilde Mysteries” are infused with a tinge of “well, it could’ve happened.” Who’s to say that Wilde and his old pal Arthur Conan Doyle didn’t spend hours traipsing around together, searching the back alleys of London and Paris for the man who killed a naked young boy in a high-society parlor room? Could’ve happened. Or that Bram Stoker and Robert Sherard (among others) played an all-to-real game of “Who Would You Kill?” Totally could’ve happened.

The Ambrose Bierce series by Oakley Hall
“Ambrose Bierce and the Queen of Spades”
“Ambrose Bierce and the Death of Kings”
“Ambrose Bierce and the One-Eyed Jacks”
“Ambrose Bierce and the Trey of Pearls”
“Ambrose Bierce and the Ace of Shoots”

The real Ambrose Bierce was a sardonic wit — he authored “The Devil’s Dictionary,” a repository of wisecracking “definitions” that belongs on your reference shelf — and the fictional Bierce is just as caustic, which makes him such a great hate-to-love-him character. His run-ins with Eugenicists, railroad magnates, poets, kings, presidents and feminists make for some swell reading. (His campaign against the latter is particularly abrasive; he accuses women of having “brainettes made of gray batter,” until one manages to convince him that women were in fact “the founders of society.” “I believe she is a poetess,” says Bierce dreamily.)

“Sunnyside” and “Carter Beats the Devil” by Glen David Gold
Glen David Gold is brave enough to fictionalize the lives of icons whose life stories are known well to anyone who’s made a habit of watching The Biography Channel. Gold messes around with the real-life stories of silent film stars Charlie Chaplin and Mary Pickford, magicians Charles Carter and Harry Houdini, and even superstar German Shepherd Rin Tin Tin. The author sticks close to the facts — well, close-ish — but adds key bizarro elements to their stories that transform them almost completely. Carter is involved in a presidential assassination and plays a role in the invention of television. Chaplin has the unwitting ability to appear in thousands of places at once. Both become even richer characters in Gold’s telling — but it is storytelling. Some of these things happened, but not in this way. You could watch Biography for months and never hear a whisper of this stuff. It’s a conspiracy, I tell you. A conspiracy!

The Further Adventures of Edgar Allan Poe
“The Pale Blue Eye,” by Louis Bayard
“Entombed,”
by Linda Fairstein
“The Murder of Edgar Allan Poe,”
by George Egon Hatvary
“Poe and Fanny,”
by John May
“The Hollow Earth: The Narrative of Mason Algiers Reynolds of Virginia,”
by Rudy Rucker
“The Hum-Bug,”
by Harold Schechter
If Edgar Allan Poe’s life wasn’t already weird enough for you, his fictional adventures — thrilling tales of unsolved mysteries, steampunk-styled sci-fi action, and even polar exploration –- will add other, somewhat plausible dimensions to his loony legend. That’s right: Edgar Allan Poe explored the North Pole. Suck it, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Scrabble Variations (Monkey Goggles)

Growing up, a game of Scrabble was a near-daily event. Our television was reserved for PBS , and I hated playing outside. (Seriously, there are bugs out there. Bugs.). Board games became a big part of my youth by default.

I grew to love Scrabble because it was challenging, but at the same time, I discovered that it left a lot to the luck of the draw. You can have the biggest and best vocabulary in the world, but it won’t do you any good if you’re stuck with XPQWDSL. Fortunately, I was able to use Seussian logic and the wiles of a cute eight-year old against my parents quite often. Thneed is too a word, and you thneed one. Blink-blink. Can I watch TV now?

I don’t play it nearly as often now, but when I do, I like to jazz things up a bit by imposing several by-laws you won’t find in Scrabble’s ironclad rule set. You can try them if you like, but be warned: While adding constraints to any game makes it more challenging, it also raises the frustration level. (Example: The time-honored practice of throwing money under the “Free Parking” space in Monopoly extends the length of the game, and in so doing elevates it from boring to excruciatingly boring.) Trying any of my suggested Scrabble modifications may turn the game from a nice evening’s entertainment into a full-on, arms-flailing contact sport, one in which English itself ultimately suffers the heaviest losses.

Fake Word Scrabble. Only those words not found in the dictionary, or words with non-standard definitions, may be used in this version of the game. And not only must you make up the word, but you must also have a definition ready because you will be challenged. (Pictured above: CHUD is an acronym for “Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller”; DL is short for “on the down-low”; and a bluevet is, naturally, a nice comfy blue duvet. We allowed slub, a word that actually does appear in the dictionary, purely by accident; we thought it was a good word to describe “a chubby slug.”)

Dirty, Dirty Scrabble. This is a lot harder than it seems. Once all the obvious words are taken, you have to get creative with with your compound words and definitions. Apply innuendo early and often.

Stacking Scrabble. This is pretty much a do-it-yourself version of Upwords, in which stacking tiles upon existing words is allowed. Be warned: When the stacks get over three high, they will fall and your words will be rendered meaningless. Come to think of it, stack ‘em five-high.

Horizontal/Vertical. Before the game starts, each player must choose between “horizontal” or “vertical,” and they can only make words in that direction.

Fun with Onomatopoeia. Vroom, bamf, rrrawr! Allowing onomatopoeia is a great way to easily use those unusable random letters that accumulate in your tray. I’ve found it best to limit its usage to a maximum of three times per player per game, but y’know, vrrrrrrip! happens.

I-Spy Scrabble. You can only make words that relate to things you can see. Be sure to play this version with people who have lots and lots of hobbies.

Online Scrabble.
One thing I’ve learned throughout my online Scrabble-playing career is that no matter how good of a sportsperson I want to be, no matter how much I value playing the game over winning, I’ll cheat at it. And you’ll cheat at it, too.  We all cheat at Scrabble. Let’s all of us get together, set fire to the dictionary, and go play it at the pub instead.